Back in August of 2016, I was a recent high school graduate, bored at home, the summer Olympics playing on the TV (weird that I remember that?), when I decided to hop onto a random online game to play and chat with people. By chance, J was also bored at home and joined the same game, entered the same chatroom, and messaged me. Looking back, it's pretty crazy to consider the odds of us ever meeting. There's an 8 hour time difference, neither of us were regulars on the game, and we both randomly decided to hop on at the same time. Despite all odds, we met and really hit it off! Of course at this point, neither of us were thinking a relationship would come from this. I had never really even heard of long distance relationships! We got along really well in our first conversation and it was nice to find a random person to play with online for that day. I remember J having to log off as it was already quite late for him (probably 11pm or later) and I thought that would be it for us ever talking again. Without a way to contact each other outside the game, and no additional online meet-ups in place, I logged off the game and continued with my day.
By the next day, I decided I would log back on to the game around the same time I had previously to see if J would be on again. And voila! There he was! We got to chatting again, both pleased to see each other online, and this time before J had to log off, he suggested we exchange Kik (a messenger app). Now... I felt panicked. I had not intended to go this far when I joined the game, and years of "stranger danger" and online warnings scared me. But I felt that if I was careful it would be ok - plus, I could always delete the app any time. I joined Kik and only put my first name and a random picture that wasn't of me (and weeks later updated it to reflect my name a recent picture once I felt good with it). I felt comfortable with that and J was fine with it.
The first few days of us messaging on Kik were just as fun as on the game, but this time we weren't glued to computers and could come and go as needed. I remember waking up early to message him, and he stayed up late to message me. Our friendship was growing and while we had boundaries in place to keep us both safe and comfortable, there was a shared feeling of already knowing each other. We continued messaging daily, sharing photos of our days, music we like, and playing games like 2 truths and 1 lie.
By the end of 2016, we were talking about long distance relationships and what this would mean for us. I was about to start university in Canada and J was tied to his job and home in Scotland. How could this work? What would people think? Could we handle it? Were we crazy to even try? There were a lot of questions, and reflecting back, a lot of things we maybe could have done differently in the very beginning, but I know that what we did was right for us. We jumped into the deep end and started dating, despite never meeting in person. Skype video calls, messages throughout the day, snapchat drawings and pictures, and lots of physical mail helped us feel more connected in the first few months. Neither of us ever went back onto the game we originally met on, though video games are a huge part of our relationship now as we have found a lot of co-op games we love.
When I think about those first few months of meeting J and getting to know him, I can't help but smile and feel like it was the real start of an adventure that I never expected. Being from a small town has shaped me to see that those around you don't have to be your friends. You don't have to settle. We live in a world where friends, family, and partners can be from anywhere. Your people - whoever you decide to surround yourself with - don't have to be close by. Some of my favourite people have come from chance online meetings. If there's one thing to take away from how J and I met, I would say it's being open to adventure. Embrace the unexpected. Be safe and listen to your intuition. Your people are out there and, who knows, maybe all it'll take is a chance encounter online to start a whole new part of your life!
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